Grandma Watkins to me

I have often tried to think what it means to be a grandparent. All on this earth have parents of our parents; some we were able to get to know personally and some we only know through pictures or stories or even just a list of dates and places for birth and death.
But what does it mean to be a grandma or a grandpa? …to be a grandparent while you are alive and your grandkids are alive… What does it really mean?

So, to help with this thought I solicited those in our family who know Grandma Watkins. I asked everyone what their favorite memory was of Grandma Watkins. She has been alive during all of our childhoods; most of us have stayed in her home; we’ve eaten the cookies that she always keeps in the jar by the refrigerator; and we have all had drinks of water in those clear plastic cups that I’ll always think of as “Grandma cups.” We all know who she is. So from her maybe we can learn a little bit about being a grandparent.

Probably the most revealing clues come from our mom, who wrote the following:

With tenderness in my heart, I remember….
• Her loyalty and love of her rich heritage
• Her diligence in record keeping and encouraging others to do the same
• Her homemade ‘tuitti-fruiti’ ice cream…a delight for our family
• Her sewing skills in creating a lovely wardrobe for me and my sister, Merlene
• Her love and patience in teaching sewing skills to me and others
• Her devotion to serving others throughout her life…particularly the downtrodden
• Her desire (and Dad’s) to make quilts for family, friends, and even strangers
• Her uncanny ability to memorize scriptures, poems, presidents and facts
• Her rescue efforts (with Dad by her side) to help our family when in need
• Her leadership qualities in serving the Lord…especially in the temple
• Her living example of her testimony and love for the Savior

Here, Mom reveals that her relationship with grandma taught her about love, and kindness, and faithfulness. Grandma taught Mom skills, like sewing, and she taught her how to give service to others. I like that… a grandparent should teach their children to give love and service, and that helps perpetuate the traits.
Mom also talks about memories of doing things with Grandma – like making “tuitti-fruitti” ice cream. One thing that I notice is that Mom didn’t mention that she remembered any scoldings or lectures. This may be selective attention – or maybe it means that all of those lectures we give our kids really are “in one ear and out the other.” Why waste our time with lectures. Instead, lets teach our children by doing things with them… apparently that is what Grandma is remembered for.

Sandie had the following narrative:

The times that I remember the best with Grandma Watkins is when she would teach us to do crafts, crochet pot holders, hangers, make TV guide holders for recliners, first aid kits and corn bags. I think each of my neighbors, visiting teaching families and children have benefited from her example. Mom is just the same, always making and doing things for others. I honestly hope that I can be just like them and reach out to others the way that they do. I have lots of favorite memories of Grandma Watkins. Another memory that I have is when Grandpa was in the counselor in the Branch presidency at Superior branch. We used to get to go with Grandma and Grandpa to go to Church. Sometimes we would get to give a talk. I just remember it was always fun to go with them. When Grandma and Grandpa Watkins were on their mission in Washington DC, for Christmas they send Kris and Meela animal cutouts that were already sewn together. They just needed to be stuffed. She sent Kris a raccoon. He still has it and his children play with it. It makes me smile when I see the huge uneven stitches on the bottom that were sewn when he was so little.
We used to travel to their house and stay for a while in the summer. It always seemed so exciting at Grandma's home. Warner R was at home and he would 'let' us wash his El Camino before his dates and he would put firecrackers under cowpies and watch them explode and listen to us scream. There is a time that Grandma probably wishes that we wouldn't remember..... We traveled from New York and came to Arizona while school was still in session. Craig and I loved being with Norman during our stay. Well, one time we did not want to go to school, so Norman and I got a great idea to feed Craig a whole bottle of cocktail onions so that he could get sick and we could stay home to take care of him. Craig ate the whole smelly bottle and did not get sick. All three of us had to go to school. After school started, Craig got sick and he was the only one that got to come home! Grandma was not very happy with us at that time. I feel so blessed because I have such a wonderful family. Grandma has made sure that each of us and our children have copies of family pictures and stories, also spiritual experiences so that we can draw closer to the Lord. Hope this makes sense!!!

Now Sandie also remembers doing things with Grandma – the same crafts and needlework that Mom mentions. But notice that Sandie also sees the service that Grandma has given to others (e.g., her service as a missionary up in Superior Branch). This is service that is seen past one generation (Mom) by the next generation (Sandie). So this means to me that Grandma Watkins gives significant service (which we can call “generation skipping” service). I think that I want to give that kind of service.
I find it interesting that Sandie sees Grandma in the context of her younger family (like when Warner R and Norman were living at home). I hope that my kids remember my mom in the context of her family at home. There are no better times than when there is family in the home. Not only does it bring out the best in a parent – it brings out the memorable reactions to the surprising events. (As an editor’s comment, I would like to correct Sandie’s statement about the cocktail onion incident. I did NOT get to come home to be sick – but I had to stay at school and just feel gross! I was the only one that had consequences to our little scheme of trying to legitimize a day of hooky. – CA).

Shelly has a slightly different, but related set of memories:

As far as my favorite memory of Grandma Watkins? I don't know that I could think of just one. But when I think of her a few things come to mind.
One time I tried on a diamond ring that she had been given by Roy or Wayne or some relative and I wore it in her back yard and she caught me wearing it. She was so disappointed in me that she made me sit on the toilet in her bathroom for an hour. I will never forget it. I could tell you every swan and shell she has in there!
Another thing I remember is one year we went to Grandmas for Christmas. I am not sure why... But she had a white Christmas tree with dark blue bulbs and I remember spending a lot of time in her living room looking at it.
Finally when I think about Grandma every time I use a velour quilt at my house. I can't even imagine how many she has made but it is something we always use and when we see we are reminded of her. I wish I had her discipline to write things down, to keep records and things I think she is one of the most amazing grandmothers I could have ever had.

Shelly also remembers the service (i.e., the velour quilts), but for some reason Shelly had the “diamond ring experience.” I guess grandmas get annoyed at kids that play in the backyard with diamond rings. Go figure!
Even Shelly’s memories involve being in Grandma’s house, and recognizing Grandma’s keen interest in recording every event in our lives.

Stacy added this:

My favorite memory of Grandma Watkins is definitely sewing together in the
sewing room. She is a great seamstress and I loved learning from her and
just being with her, not to mention the finished product was great too. She
always made sure that it turned out good.

Where she makes reference again to the crafts and the time that Grandma took to pass down her needleworking skills.

Sherri had the following to say:

My favorite memory of Grandma Watkins is not any specific memory, but just how she would always be teaching us how to crochet in the back green room of her home with the hair dryer in it, which by the way is now changed dramatically. She was always teaching us the sewing things.

Do you notice the craft theme and the teaching that Grandma has always done?

Stephanie added the following (and do you notice the trend?):

Now, as for my favorite memory of Grandma Watkins... it is not a specific one it is more of a collection of memories. I always looked forward to driving to go stay at grandma's for a week every year. I have vivid memories of sleeping in her back room and being in awe at her pile of sewing she had completed. Also, I always looked forward to sitting on her couch for hours crocheting. We would compete for the longest chain ever to be crocheted while watching Jeopardy. She was always so patient with us while she taught us new techniques, and so sincere in her excitement as we completed hot pads and hats.

So what does it mean to be a grandparent? If you ask me, it has to do with loving your children (and their children), doing things with them to create memories of things together, and then teaching them. There is a responsibility to pass down skills from one generation to another, to teach families to give service, to demonstrate love and obedience – adherence to principles that are good and worthy.
You know, I want to be a grandparent like Grandma Watkins. We all love her dearly, we respect her, and we have many, many fond memories of the time she spent doing things with each of us. I want to do things with my grandchildren. I want them to love and respect me as much as we love and respect Grandma Watkins.